pale blue

As if the imaginary marks around your neck weren't enough...

casting its glow over me, entraping the self loathing and pity
love, lust, anger, angst, resent, hate
pondering poly-imagerys over a cold cup of black coffee
weak embered rave lights dance with no backbeat
with the rain gone and sky, cloud filled
becomes that nightlight shade of grey
and im already missing the rain, though my feet are cold
my writers buzz, dual-ine my desire for the lost comforts of sleep
lost 8 years ago, one faithfull night, scarred on my imagination
self-medications are lost among the seekers
astetics are lost among acetics, who dream wearily of acetone washed skin
compressed, dried, painted, the fictional whore

Rember that old white whore?
your old muse?
your old cure for the daily bore
do you remember all the sorrow she left in your heart
do you remember how everything almost fell apart

but by gods grace of emotional health it all held together
Your sign of health has triggered your old whores love reborn
phoenix rise, burned out symbol, symbolic of the scares in your grey matter

what does it matter, night lost only in conneotations
infinity gained in self-discovery

Disillusionment

Open window

Why do the people below think im going to jump

Im gonna fly mother fucker

anxiolytic induced para-sympathies

No sleep, Dream lies no longer seduce me
I stay awake, my reality, eternity
Shadow people become my friends
enlightening, sympathies
The creatures of the night never haunt my dreams
For i only dream the dreamless sleep

Slave to the backbeat, blurring anxieties-
decomposed to a second year synthesis
Love remarked on its eternity
As one, we say nay, and continue to slave

Full on hallucinations, personal reality
I love my dreamy sleep, your awake
Body moves, eyes see, and subjectivity becomes reality
Pans dark nemisis, two-handed, stalks me
Once my friend, turned back, prefrontal stress
Awake Awake Awake Awake

Inflatable Mistress

I killed Pope's god and burned his forsaken knowledge
Took every fairy from my dreams
and showed them the haunting blue glow
It's hard not to smile as I watch them kill themselves
It's because my new god killed them
And my new god shows his love everyday to me
In my own quip smiles and sarcasm
In my distaste, displeasure and skeptisism
The Fruedian dream cycle is shattered by my hypnotic sedatives
I'll claim your lucid dream lies are only hallucinations
I'll claim your fantasies as my own sadist joys
While i rape the corpses of the fairies, orgasming with their final convulsions

Yet all pretentious joy is short lived

Time, the healer, and the monarch soon declares me guilty of my crimes
Luckily he is a wise monarch and knows that the crime punishes itself
Rationalization will never stand the test of time
For only lost in fantasy will we find the time to pass
Will we create the eutopian vision free from my daydream opiate hallucinations
Stimulated pathways show the same patterns regardless of its orgin
And once again I find my crime punishes itself
Without my flagellation im filled with only self-loathing
Science, my new god and mistress has failed me again in spirt
But i will always find better living through chemistry

Self - Esteem

You bruise so beautifuly
All the colors of the rainbow
The orange highlights your eyes
The deep navy brings out your thighs

Ill leave my mark on you
Youll love me forever
Youll scream "hit me"
As long as i tell you your pret-ty

Cycle of abuse, power, control,
Love, Respect, Never let go
I love it when your yellow the next day
I hope your bruises never go away

Addiction Society

There is a direct physiological reason for all this
Yet none of you listen
So why do you watch the world on TV

Maybe ill stop trying to save you
little chance of that
I pray to the new god, the medical god

He is my master and he andswers all my prayers
knowledge in place of faith
Yet ill still lose, because im always trying to fix you