Haunted by your thoughts

That phrase, haunted by your thoughts, making alot more sense now. I did like 5 pages of freewriting yesterday between exams and some interesting things came out. Freewriting a new curious exploration of mine. The words aren't just flowing like they were yesterday.

Its fucking Christmas break so I'm not gonna let this shit drag me down. Its almost shamefull how often i will be freewriting these days and catch myself on the verge of a sentence that could just as easily be a lyric to another one of those "destroyed by a girl" broken hearted love songs. But they never seem to quite make it to the paper. Ive seen that happen though, Patrick, over 40 years old and still hurt from some bitch in college. I won't let that happen to me. Of course ive learned to build up the barriers after the years. This shits insane and i want to just forget about it. Its not like i WANT to stay up at night just replaying my own skewd perceptions.

I've found myself getting more and more bitter these days, except when I'm with my friends, they sure do know how to make me feel alright. I swear i could be having the worst day in the world and I go to see them and i just feel great. Its wonderful to have friends like that.

I have alot of contradicting thoughts.