Freewriting
Its almost impossible to scribe the line of thoughts that have come across my mind these past couple of days, its been at about double the speed of normal because i am trying to follow the Zen ideal of questioning everything, playing advocate to my everything thought, trying to find the balance that might be this illusion of elightenment.
One of the great things i read today: Being angry is like sitting in a bathtub, thrashing about, wondering why your face and arms are getting wet.
One of the great poetic thoughts of today: I do zazen everytime i look into your eyes
I did Zazen, for real, for the first time today, it was interesting, they say that if you really like it, you will only burn yourself out on it, and if you hate it then you are more likely to benefit from it. I was neutral, it wasnt GREAT, nothing really more than i would get out of my thoughts from walking, although it was more painfull and annoying, but it wasnt that bad. Tonight i explored desire, and saw the balance between love and hate, love is a silly syntheic emotion, i once thought i was enlightened when i was rolling for my first time and realized i loved everyone, love is the opposite of hate, it is not nessisarily better, its kind of like a stimulant, for a while you will feel like the world is yours, but you are only to be dissapointed when the feeling fades away, you have to find the balance between that, and the unfound circular anger.
Also, im probably very sexually frustrated, but then again what teenage boy isnt?
Im still wrestling with this concept of no self that is concurrent throughout buddhism, god is everything, everything is enlightenment, i am god, i am nothing, there is no self
its great how open buddhism is about its hypocracy
there is seriously SOOOOOO much i want to say, i could go on forever, so im going to have to cut myself off, but the concept of time, is a very confusing thing, but think on this, there is no past, just the histories that we have created to explain our concept of self, and history is only as true as the history books
One of the great things i read today: Being angry is like sitting in a bathtub, thrashing about, wondering why your face and arms are getting wet.
One of the great poetic thoughts of today: I do zazen everytime i look into your eyes
I did Zazen, for real, for the first time today, it was interesting, they say that if you really like it, you will only burn yourself out on it, and if you hate it then you are more likely to benefit from it. I was neutral, it wasnt GREAT, nothing really more than i would get out of my thoughts from walking, although it was more painfull and annoying, but it wasnt that bad. Tonight i explored desire, and saw the balance between love and hate, love is a silly syntheic emotion, i once thought i was enlightened when i was rolling for my first time and realized i loved everyone, love is the opposite of hate, it is not nessisarily better, its kind of like a stimulant, for a while you will feel like the world is yours, but you are only to be dissapointed when the feeling fades away, you have to find the balance between that, and the unfound circular anger.
Also, im probably very sexually frustrated, but then again what teenage boy isnt?
Im still wrestling with this concept of no self that is concurrent throughout buddhism, god is everything, everything is enlightenment, i am god, i am nothing, there is no self
its great how open buddhism is about its hypocracy
there is seriously SOOOOOO much i want to say, i could go on forever, so im going to have to cut myself off, but the concept of time, is a very confusing thing, but think on this, there is no past, just the histories that we have created to explain our concept of self, and history is only as true as the history books
posted by Scruffy at 7:21 PM
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