Tumor for a Scar

Sometimes i think i live in a world of delusions
But im a simple man who seeks truth
Or maybe just tears apart my old revelations
I know three things now were a lie
The funny thing is the one person who it matters to
never listens, always assumes their own conclusions are best
Despite what they say. Is it hypocracy? Its impossible to tell
People are best left alone in their own heads
Despite how i love to take ice picks to skulls and drill some truth in
But they never listen
They dont want to listen
They want the happiest truth there is
And really, what better medicine is there than the faith healer
But the faith healer only does what you can already do yourself
Except you eliminate yourself as the opting force

Its that self that refuses to die, too many starved revelations and changing brain chemistry
Not even narcotic, though had i not written this line it what you would have assumed

Self fulfilling prophecy is ironically not caused by your own thoughts

Look at what you transmit, telegraph and tell me your counterpoint lies dont sent that message

I should have been done with this years ago, but i suppose it will never go
And dont pretend that im sad, i say this only tired, as we all get in the evening
Just after a day of coping with deadlines and others and thankless work, that we can still come home with a smile on our face, just tired

take care of yourself 7 days a week? impossible, i need a break from my own seriousness
I like everything to be serious
Why else would i joke all the time

So ill take a tumor in place of a scar, easier to hide, but i know thats not the way it would be if my narcissistic ego superseded.