Nervous Light

guilt ridden Sunday morning, purged last night, impending purge tomorrow, comfort is not guaranteed, even the solace of white smoke does nothing for the sacrifice of character i make on a bi-weekly basis, something of an un-innocent sacrifice, hope the gods confuse it for the sweet girl left so long ago, leaving scratches in stone, leaving scratches in wood, ringing the bells and hoping someone hears, cursing constantly, curse you and all your cousins and that sacred doctrine of evolution, white powders only make you sweaty and nervous the confidence was all lost with the image you try to inhale, image imagine image imagining, purge, its almost like i forgot the memory of your smile, its almost like forgot that i am the neurotic one, its almost like i forgot anyone had any sort of tolerance for me, this is perfectionism, this is perfectionism combined with failure and a lack of support, though abundant in efficacy, its my efficacy that gives me the pride, the pride that gives me the confidence, the confidence that somehow seeps into the floor with the remains of a sugar-alcoholic mixture, staining black and red, burned, not scared, easily replaced, were all easily replaced, and yet there still was a point to all this, yet to be reached, one-quarter into the anti-climactic story, and i still forget that i never completed anything, not yet, not this sentence, not this story, not this feeling, but yet all the signs still tell me you all love me. thank you