Everythings Changing

I hope i can keep up with the times
It seems like im only falling behind

Post Script

The reason why you can never find absolution to the system is that when a crime is commited there is a victim (personally) the debt for the crime goes to the victim, not the system.

Crime and Punishment

Every criminal is not a theif, Every thief is not a criminal.

There are those that would assume that those who would break one law would break any law with ease, that perhaps our own personal codes of conduct do not conflict or overlap with the generally accepted laws of society. We are all lawbreakers, so thus any of those blanket ideas are negated.

I stopped reading crime and punishment. Its a cute moral fairy tale, but the main character lies to himself, and the readers generally assume that in a first person narative that the narrator does not lie to you, in that we do not lie to ourselves. But we do. Even with the false rationalization, its still a rationalization that can be justified.

We live in a society that defines being guilty as having evidence, if you are not caught the crime was never commited. This is how we rationalize our world. As i read crime and punishment, i thought how wrong of him, how wrong of him to feel guilty, to confess, and how wrong of her to feel that he needs to absolve himself and that prison is an appropriate way to do so. Not to say that the criminal never feels remorse or guilt, but just as one does not ever follow the rules of society laid before them, i have NEVER felt the punishment of society to be the way to absolution and my modern brethran and I will never find absolution through the system.

But perhaps that is because my personal code is restricted to crimes i can justify, and rationalize and that generally do not harm others unless they wish to be harmed, openly or not.

Either way i can't finish reading it, Russian Lit. is to oranatly dark for me i suppose.

Guilt is not stronger than fear, fear is the driving force behind any decent criminal, and we are all criminals.

Cliques and Cliches

The animosity will never die, and maybe it is representative of the animosity towards myself, but what great soul didnt have a conflict with themselves. If change is the essence of conflict what is the change here that causes the conflict because i see no change only the return.

But this time its different. This time its not the dopesick heartbroke lullubys. This is pure
hatred, insanity, lust, futility, oppression

Oppressing the oppressed only to speak out against tryanny

Thats the futility of it all, all with a sick lust, edipus sydrome of the soul
Kill myself, fuck myself, use myself, only to get lovesick and return brokenhearted back home wishing id never left but feeling ten times wiser, ten times stronger, ten times older

remebering three years later it was a fallacy, a false prophecy written on the back of a cardboard box, but painted just so that from a distance youd think it was stone.

Whats the diffference between a spree killer and a serial killer

Apology for Prejudice

This is an apology to myself and no one else, for deluding myself into thinking that this isnt me.

Too long have i not felt the embrace and i dont care to ever leave it again.
I know what brought it out in me and it makes me feel good
Warm all fucking over

But this is something that took along time to admit to myself though ive admitted it to others all along.

The tough guy visade turned spree killer